Sure It’s free, but it will cost you your dignity…

Lately I’ve been taking advantage of mail order freebies. I’ve received an adorable tiny box of kleenex, makeup and other cosmetics, cooking stuff and lots of coupons. However, after today I may never request another free sample…

I received a note in my mailbox telling me I had a parcel in the main office. Normally when a package is received, the post office puts a little key to a locker in your mailbox and you can retrieve the package yourself. They’re kind of small, so I figured if they took it to the front office, it must be too big for the locker, right?! Since I was out of town for a week, I called the office (twice) to make sure they knew I would get it when I returned. Finally, (after another week passed) I went to retrieve my mystery delivery today.

The office manager went to the back room and I saw a huge FedEx box on the counter. What could it be?? I wasn’t expecting anything, so I was really confused who could be sending me such a large box without me knowing about it. She returned with a tiny envelope-box. It was white with pink swirls on it. I noticed the sender was “Proctor & Gamble”.

No.No.No.No.No.

It all came together in a rush.
Proctor & Gamble. Pink frilly box. Free samples.
beinggirl.com

No.No.No.No.No.

I started to sweat and quickly searched the box in her hand for any sign of the word “tampon”.
I silently cursed myself and remembered the day I had requested the dumb things.

“Free tampons? Sure, why not?! Those are the kind I use anyway…sign me up!”
Let me tell you now, this is exactly “why not”.

After 5 minutes of searching for my name in the pick-up log (and mentioning just how long the box had been there), she finally gave me the pen to sign for it. I grabbed the box and ran out of the office. Safely in my car, I inspected the box. It was discreet, in the most obvious way. Ugh.

I know she had her theories as to what was in the box. But I’m guessing she couldn’t figure out just why I was having tampons delivered.

Maybe she figures I special order my tampons…

“They can’t have my brand…I have a special vajayjay!”

Ah geez.
At least I got some coupons.
And an adorable mini deodorant. :-p